*What to do*(sorry this is a long one)

You know all that I have ever wanted to do since I was a little girl was finish college, get married, and have children. I even had a little plan figure out for myself. Graduate High School, go to college, be married by 23, and have a baby by 25. Now part of this whole plan was for me to wear a business suit everyday and not be a stay at home Mom.

Needless to say things have not turned out quite like I planned. I have not finished school yet, which I do want to do...10 more classes shouldn't be that hard right? But some things have...I was married by 23,  and a Mommy by 25. But my priorities have changed, I don't want to work everyday, I would love to be able to be home with my child(ren) all the time. Its just not possible right now I have to work-even part time helps. Lets face it I do not have a money tree in the back yard! ;)

My only problem right now, and what I am struggling with is how can I accomplish all that I want out of life? We can't afford for me to stay home full time right now, so that also means that we can not afford me to go back to school either. Because, well to be honest the 2 or 3 days that I am class I need to be working somewhere to help bring money into our home. And the other 2 or 3 days I want to be with our son plus taking care of our home. It is truly a blessing that my husband feels the same way that I do.

What brought me to blog about all of this is a conversation that Pooh and I had earlier today. He told me that while he wants me to be home with Corbin, everyday if I could..its just not feasible for us right now. But in the same breath he told me that whatever I do he wants me to be happy doing it. Honestly I am not happy right now where I work he knows that. I'm stressed, and hate getting up to go..part of this I know is because I don't want to leave Corbin. Another huge factor is that the business is under contract to sell, now while there is a contract out we have to wait on GM to approve the buyer, which could take months! The business is losing money, my Papa can't afford to keep the doors open, and I know he is struggling with what to do. So really in a few months or even weeks depending on how things go I may not have a job.

Happiness...that's a word that gets tossed around alot..are you happy..be happy... I looked up the meaning..."Happiness is the state of mind or feeling such as contentment, satisfaction, pleasure or joy". I need to find the joy in my work. Pooh asked me what I would like to do, what kind of job would make me happy and put food on the table so to speak. I thought about it...only for a minute...If I have to work, I would love to do it from home...maybe an event coordinator? wedding planner?(hey I know a great photog! :)) Eventually I would love to have my own business. That's what would make me happy. Pooh told me to make it happen, but really I don't even know where to begin to make it happen. 

Okay I have taken up enough of your time...Just need to get it out, thanks for listening...still don't know what I am going to do with myself. I guess keep working where I am until I figure it all out. Here's to hopes and dreams right. If only my fairy Godmother would show up.....